A contradictory confusion

"That tendency of yours to betray, to lie - and to be perfectly frank. To hide - or to be too open. That concern to preserve yourself - only to end up telling your story, your truth, with every detail, to a stranger. That wish to escape, to run away when someone seems to get to know you, although you don´t reveal yourself, and that vertigo to stay. That untamed thirst for someone - and for not being with anyone. That hunger for the impossibles. How to think in the middle of this contradictory confusion? It´s the truth and it´s a lie, it´s OK and it´s not OK, and there´s no way out. Nothing to do. Have a glass of water."

Cookbook for Sad Women by Héctor Abad Faciolince

It´s somehow terrifying. But I am eager to read the rest. And terrified... And eager... And terrified... And eager...